


I won't lose you too

by CocotteJenn



Series: Warden Kallian Tabris - Elves in Luuuv Worldstate [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Warden (Dragon Age) is a Mistress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 20:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17311355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocotteJenn/pseuds/CocotteJenn
Summary: (Tumblr prompt) Tabris is leaving Ferelden to find a cure for the Blight. Alistair doesn't take the announcement very well.





	I won't lose you too

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt for @no-id-no-person: "I found you, tears streaming down your cheeks, pain hidden from me once again" + "I won’t lose you too" for Tabris/Alistair.

The Hero of Ferelden always leaves before the end of the party. She never stays more than an hour. The only reason she even attends these events, to begin with, is because she's the guest of honor. The people of Ferelden are celebrating the anniversary of her victory against the Archdemon, so she feels compelled to show her face and mingle for a while. She shares a dance with the King - probably the only enjoyment she gets out of this - and disappears into the shadows. Tonight is no different. For the tenth year in a row, she's gone before the buffet table is served.

Alistair, on the other end, is forced to remain until the firework show is over. _Royal protocol_ , Eamon says. While he doesn't mind these celebrations as much as Kallian does, he often wishes he could slip away with her and enjoy her company in a more private setting.

He finds her at the end of the night in the Royal Gardens, sitting by a fountain, petting her faithful mabari. She's radiant, wearing a beautiful form-fitting dress that falls around the shape of her small curves like liquid silverite. Her black curls are tied neatly into a bun by a blue ribbon. It takes all of Alistair’s willpower not to run to her side. 

A wide smile grows on her face when she sees him approaching. Maker, he’s a lucky man, he thinks as she pulls him into a tight hug. When they eventually part, he feels her absence like a gust of frozen wind. He so desperately wants her warmth to return, but something on her face stops him. Something shining under the moonlight. Tears. Brushing them away with his thumbs, Alistair asks softly, “What's wrong?”

Her smile falters. “Nothing, I'm fine.”

His hands slide down her arms in a warm touch. “Tabs, my love, you can tell me anything.”

“I don't want to spoil your night.”

Kallian looks away from him, her gaze settling on an invisible point at the bottom of the fountain. She runs her fingers over the water, small waves rippling around her small hands.

“I love you,” he says, cupping her chin to gently lift her head toward his. “Nothing is going to change that.”

She takes a deep breath, bracing herself. “I'll be leaving Ferelden in a few days,” she blurts out.

His heart jumps. A quiet “What?” is the only thing his brain can come up with.

“You know I've been researching the Blight, looking for a cure.” He nods slowly, unsure of where the conversation is heading. “We've decided to travel to lands that have never been reached by the Blight. We think there might be a reason these places have remained untouched,” she explains to him before adding with a tremor in her voice, “ _If_ they've truly remained untouched.”

“I don't understand. I didn't know there were any place left in Thedas that haven't witnessed a Blight.”

“That's my point, Alistair. There aren't,” she sighs. “We'll be traveling into uncharted territories. I- We don't know when we'll be returning.” _Or if we'll be returning at all_. She doesn't say it out loud, but Alistair can read it on her face.

“‘In a few days’? What does that even mean? Why did you wait until the last minute to tell me this?”

“I didn't. We made the decision this morning.”

He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but he can feel the anger build up in his chest. “So, what? You just can't wait to get away, is that it?”

“We can't afford to wait, Alistair!” Guilt washes over him as water fills her eyes again. “We've been Grey Wardens for over ten years! Maker only knows how long we've got left before we start hearing the Calling!”

She’s right. Of course, she is. But the thought of her leaving and possibly never coming back is too painful to bear.

“Let me go with you,” he asks softly.

“Absolutely not!” Her tone is adamant. She will accept no argument. “We’ve already had this conversation the last time I left. You can’t come with me, Alistair.”

“But I-”

“But nothing!” she cuts him off. “You’re the king.”

“Exactly! That means I can do whatever I want!” He knows throwing her own words at her won’t help in the least, yet he does it anyway.

Her nostrils flare in anger. “Maker’s breath, Alistair!”

“Others can rule the kingdom in my absence. They’ve done it before.”

“That not the point!” she sputters. “What if something were to happen to you while we’re there? What good is finding a cure if _you_ , the one person I’m trying to save, die in the process?”

She’s right again. She’s always right. It doesn’t mean he has to like it, though.

“What if  _ you _ die? You think I can live if you don’t?” 

Kallian wraps her arms around him and pulls him closer to her, her body shaking with silent cries.

“Tabs, I-” 

“I can’t lose you, Alistair,” she sobs against his chest. “I’ve already lost too many people I cared about. I won’t lose you too.”

His hold tightens around her. What can he possibly say after this? He doesn’t want to let her go, he  _ can’t _ let her go. And yet… he knows he has to. He wishes he could stop time and make the pain disappear, both his and hers. Rubbing her arms gently, he loses himself in the familiarity of her heart beating against his chest. They stand there like this for a while, finding comfort in each other’s warm embrace, until a huff from Dog brings them back to reality. 

“Promise me you’ll come back,” Alistair asks in a quiet whisper.

She tilts her head back and smiles up at him. “I’ll always come back to you, my sweet king. Even a hundred dragons couldn’t keep me away from you.”

Alistair bends down to kiss her. She  _ will _ come back. She  _ will _ find a way to stop the Calling. And they  _ will _ be together again. Forever, this time.


End file.
